Monday, October 28, 2013

An awful story from last month

Last month, a horrible story showed up in my newsfeed -- you can read it here in all its details. A Florida woman had gotten pregnant accidentally by her live-in boyfriend. She was proud of the pregnancy and was ready to have the child. Her boyfriend was less than thrilled by the news, telling her, "Oh God, I want to die. Are you serious?" He implied that she should end the pregnancy...and when she didn't, he decided to help.

Her boyfriend's father was a doctor, so she went to the child's grandfather to get a prenatal exam. Her boyfriend called the next day to tell her that his dad had said she had an infection. He gave her what he claimed were amoxicillin pills...but were actually stomach ulcer medicine known to cause miscarriages. It did so in this case as well, and the woman's pregnancy was over.

There are so many horrible things in this story:

  • The boyfriend was studying "biomedical sciences and religion"...clearly he didn't pay much attention to, you know, those 'religion' classes.
  • The two met at a strip club
  • The boyfriend dated other women and used her for sex on the side
  • They had unprotected sex all the time
  • He killed a child and is only being charged with "product tampering and mail fraud," as though the worst part of the crime was scratching off the medicine label, not the loss of a child's life
  • The fact that upon learning about the pregnancy, he says "I want to die" and tries to convince her to have an abortion--as though her pregnancy primarily existed as a way to make his life inconvenient, rather than as the natural result of having unprotected sex with a woman multiple times.
It's just one of those stomach-churning stories.

It is funny, though, how sometimes small things bother you. Of the entire horrible story, there is one part that has stayed with me this month--and it's none of those points above.

In the midst of describing their relationship, ABC said, "Lee and Weldon even said, 'I love you' to each other".

This is such a pet peeve of mine. You see it in movies and TV all the time--two people sleeping together and one says, "I love you." The other doesn't feel the same way, and nervously answers, "I know," or "Thanks," or something. It's a repeated trope and a stupid, cheap storyline that always drives me crazy when I see it.

Do we really live in this kind of a culture? Do we really live in a world where expressing love to someone is more rare than having sex with them? The ABC story mentions the med student having unprotected sex with a stripper while dating another woman casually, as though it is the sort of thing which happens all the time. And yet the fact that they said "I love you", THAT is amazing stuff!

I would love to think that this was not the norm in our culture...but I think it is. We are in a culture where it is more acceptable to have sex with someone than to love them.

Christians, when you see this tired trope playing out on TV shows or movies or in the lives of those around you, remind yourself (and them) of the truth:  that we received love freely, and are to give it freely. We should love all those around us, all the time. We should eventually choose a future spouse who is a good fit and a wise match, and love them--every day. Love is more than just a feeling, but is an ongoing choice to sacrifice your needs for others. And eventually, that love may grow into a lifelong commitment in marriage. And when that happens, it will lead to sex. It doesn't work the other way around.

1 comment:

  1. My peeve in the story (which many others have stated/echoed), is that this situation of aborting a child was seen in the court of public opinion as murder... whereas, if he were a doctor, aborting the child would just be seen as a run-of-the-mill procedure. It is pathetic (though expected) that the "official" charges show a lack of ability to charge the man properly for his deeds, but it is far worse that there is a glaring double standard that some just don't want to have to face.